What you decide determines what you receive. If you value yourself, then you will be willing to balance and get the rest and relaxation you need. If you value others more, that sounds idealistic, but it’s not. The truth is, as a mom or entrepreneur or momtrepreneur, you’re need for relaxing and prioritizing is the difference between winning and losing.
And nothing benefits those you love that doesn’t benefit you as well. So, evaluate, if you ask yourself. Does my day benefit me? And we are not talking about the joy you feel by giving to your family or job. It’s very important to separate the joy of giving with the balance of giving. So, this lesson reviews strategies of saying “NO” because the moment you use this word, immediately you will start not only feeling more relaxed but have more time for you.
You’ve written out your bucket list, now let’s talk about relaxing while we continue. That’s the problem with people who give too much! They don’t relax enough.
Prioritizing is a serious business effecting our emotional side and physical simultaneously. We are driven by a force inside that says we should be last. We should put others first. And indeed we should, but not every time.
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE STRESS
- Stress causes your emergency response system to flood the body with adrenaline and cortisol, which is your body’s natural ability to enhance cognitive performance of memory, attention, and reasoning.
- Your heart pounds faster, muscles tighten, blood pressure rises, breath quickens, and your senses become sharper, hence, the superhero moments where a man lifts a car to free his wife after an accident, or a Uma Thurman fists her way out of being buried alive. These movies go overboard, but real life has proven time and time again what our emergency system is capable of.
- high blood pressure
- poor immune system
- stomach problems
- fertility difficulties
- low sex drive
- muscle tention
The danger of stress is not limited to emergencies or tragedies. Daily stress causes your nervous system to work harder than it should.
Now, I talk a lot about this as it’s important to remember. As an entrepreneur I learned from hard knocks just how panic attacks work. How stress eats you alive. And it really doesn’t matter where the stress or panic stems from. Stress reacts in the body without different lables. So, when you’re catering a 250 people wedding and the food has just been destroyed by a tent that collapses pulling tables, chairs and French cuisine into one big heap, or your running to grab your 3 year old who’s darting onto a busy street, your body and mind reacts the same.
So, a panic attack turns on an emergency energy source that doesn’t last long. Adrenaline, sends your body into alert so you’re able to react with superpower abilities. And when it’s over, you’re crashing just like a cartoon that has nothing left!
Stress on a daily basis, doesn’t have emergency energy. It’s an energy drainer. After a panic attack, you’ll find yourself still having to deal with the stresses and the side effects of adrenaline.
Stress uses serotonin and other mood-stabilizing hormones. And this means your ability to remain calm, think clearly, and withstand difficulties drops.
The ironic thing is, stress destroys you when you need yourself the most.
So, the solution to counter the effects of long bad days, is to plan good days. When we relax, and have fun, hormones prevent the high adrenaline output and increase the mood elevation hormones. It’s like plugging in and recharging.
Does it make sense why we should talk about relaxing before we get too deep into the lesson, as if you do not find your relaxing plug in, you will retain less of the lesson and not enjoy it as much.
MANTRA MEDITATION FOR STRESS RELIEF
So, there are tons of ways to relax, that’s a whole other course, but I will list one way here that is popular. If you prefer other methods or activities, that’s great.
Mantra meditation, known as transcendental meditation, works great for the times you want to rid yourself of intrusive thinking. Professionals who work with the public find this type of medication helpful in reducing stress, anxiety and anger for careers in the medical profession or teachers, social workers, the types of interactions that I relate to family! The point is, is a simple and effective form of meditation that has proven effective at minimizing anxiety, manage stress, and even lowering blood pressure.
Being it’s easy to learn is just another reason why I love suggesting it as a starter. And a lot of people claim that one session reduces stress, so, it’s not an activity you have too work too hard to achieve a goal.
- First, find a comfortable position: it really doesn’t matter if you like sitting, laying down, sitting with legs folded overlooking a body of water, or lounging on the couch. Just as long as you are comfortable.
A quiet place is best. After you become an expert you can do this in the grocery store line, but initially no distractions is best.
- Pick your Mantra
Your mantra will be a combination of words or sounds that you chose to repeat out loud or silently. As you’ve probably heard before, the Hindu, ‘Aum,” is popular and soothing. But mantras are also, words that are believed to have psychological and spiritual powers. It doesn’t matter, just chose your mantra according to what you feel relaxed saying.
One good thing to remember when starting meditation is that “With self-compassion, we give ourselves the same love we would give to others.”
- Close Your Eyes Gently and Repeat Your Mantra to Yourself
- The idea is to focus on the word or sounds you’re making as distraction. Where you feel nothing but your mantra. As other thoughts creeping into your head, be grateful for them, but gently redirect back to your mantra.
- Start with 5 minutes and work up to 20-30
- Voila. That’s it all it takes. See, how simple. Now, try it, you will enjoy the sounds. The words. The quiet. Continue to repeat your mantra and focus on the sounds and words.
Try doing this for 5 minutes before you begin your lessons, or even start your day.
SAY “NO” TO REQUESTS THAT JEPRADIZE YOUR TOP PRIORITIES
One of the most stressful things we do to ourselves is when we put others over our top priorities. For years I put everyone over my personal goals and unbeknownst to me it ate at me. I was convinced my sacrifices were for the greater good, but in the end the greater good was at least 50% me but I had given all mine away.
Setting realistic and fair expectations on our time is quite difficult. If it’s work we we fear being labeled, or not a team player, a jerk, or that person who just doesn’t give enough. At home it’s similar, it’s very hard to tell your spouse you’re tired and you don’t want to cook if you’re the type that doesn’t want to disappoint or let those you love eat unhealthy not so great frozen pizza. “There’s a big difference between working your share and doing so much you lose yourself. To worry about loving your family or losing your job is something that ends up controlling you when all the while you’re not close to either.
You have a job to do, a responsibility to maintain your end of life’s bargin.
and after a period of time playing the part of the “yes” person, you will need time to ajust and confronting the emotional discomfort you will feel when you start prioritizing you.
Saying “no” isn’t easy, but it’s incredibly important for personal growth that won’t take place if you don’t prioritize you.
- Healthline, Ann Pietrangelo and Stephanie Watson, The Effects of Stress on Your Body